You know when you have to stay "on" for someone else or something else?
And you feel like you want to break because you are carrying such a weight of your own?
But you still have to be on, not just because it's your duty, but because you love this someone else or something else and because that other thing matters so much and by breaking yourself, you would break it?
But holy crap your knees are shaking from bearing your own weight?

Yeah?
That's my day week.

This letter made me tear up.
Letter from Baba Naif to his sons, on the creation of The 99.

It's one of those timely things for me.
Where my brain is now, the novels I am reading, the poetry I am writing, my curiosity about the relationship between a man and his sons, how I am doing my own integration and synthesis of all faiths, where my brain goes when it goes away; all of that came together in a kind of a resonnant clarity when reading this letter.
As if I was hearing the echo of a distant bell, but not the strike of the hammer.
And the reference in the 6th paragaph made me jump out of my skin.

... I pulled into my parking spot and there was smoke from the front yard. Which could only mean one thing. My husband was grilling. The sun was out. The swallows were swooping over the grass. There were frogs chirping and kids zooming by on scooters.

I called out to him, "If there is a bourbon in your hand for me when I come around that corner, then I know I have reached heaven."

"No. Not heaven. Home."
It was a martini. And there were steaks.

Now that's my idea of how to recover from a stressful bank meeting.

I left my cell phone at home today.

That is... incredibly poor timing. 
 

Sometimes when we go to our local chinese restaurant we get served a bowl of little crispy wontons and a bowl of duck sauce.
Sometimes we only get the wontons.
Sometimes only the duck sauce.
Sometimes we don't get anything.

We don't know what the rules of distribution of crispy wontons are.
There are times when the table next to us has the wontons and the duck sauce, but we get nothing. Or we will get duck sauce and the guys next to us will get wontons.

We experiment each time we go in there. One time we will order mixed drinks to see if the rule is: only give wontons to the people drinking.
Other times we will order tea, or not touch our menus until after they come to take our drink order. Or not order chopsticks. Last night we got served a bowl of duck sauce right away, but it was not until after we fiddled with our silverware did we get the wontons with it. Sadly, this does not tell us anything about the magic formula for getting duck sauce and wontons together, since it was after ordering tea but not mixed drinks.

I don't mind the fact that there are rules about these things, I just want to know what they are. Right now going out to chinese food is a bit like playing Mao.

In other news: We had a duck in our front yard last night. On the one hand: yay wildlife! On the other hand: it has clearly been raining too long.
It was very friendly and ate the bread that Josiah and Piper brought it.

Noble has decided to call her Peking A L'Orange.

I have parents in my house.
Dad has tiled my kitchen. No more pumpkin tile.
Mom and I made a cherry coffeecake pie in the common house.
And a Strawberry Cardamom cream cake is cooling on the counter.
I have new home owning neighbors.
And whiskey.

The only bad thing here is that I am still afraid to drink the whiskey.
I don't even mind the rain.

When is a PEL too long?

From spiritseeker's Facebook. Vivian Joy Seier. Born June 5,10:59AM. 3 lbs. 15 oz. 17 in. Mother and child are both health and strong.

Hey,

I need you all to think good "baby stay healthy, baby stay inside" thoughts in the general direction of terrier_girl and spiritseeker. They are in the hospital and are trying to cook the baby for another 2 weeks.

*EDIT*Okay, I am upgrading the request. We are asking for Healthy Baby, Healthy Mother thoughts. C-section is scheduled for 2 hours for now. Currently everything is calm. Clearwater, their doula, is in the building.*/Edit*

And on a related note, we have been asked to be godparents.

And on a related note to that related note: sleep is for the weak. For the weak, I say!

Okay.
iPod up to date.
iPod working.
iPod charged.
Earphones at home.


........KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!
Which planet is in retrograde now????

*EDIT* adyan is my personal iPod god. */Edit*